Animals in our house can't be normal. (Whatever normal might be.)
Yesterday was a pretty laid back sort of day. Except that I put a paper cut at the very base of my middle finger, in the crease. Talk about ouch! I tried all the usual first aid tricks - hydrogen peroxide (more ouch), triple antibiotic (no help). No luck with a bandaid, because nothing is sticking to that location. So I finally decided to take my injured self to bed where hopefully unconsciousness would help me forget how much my hand hurt every time I moved my fingers. Do you know how often you wiggle your fingers in the course of simple stuff? Even surfing the internet gets painful.
So I called the dog off the couch and said we were going to bed and headed toward the staircase. We do this every night. Every night. She's supposed to slither off the couch, yawn in her snoopy sort of fashion and meander towards the stairs. Not tonight. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Brown eyes said, "I'm good, Thanks!" Since everyone else in the house was already snoozing, I didn't want to be too loud. "Bed!" More brown eyes. No movement. So I headed her direction. Being a smart dog, she lands her choreographed fall off the couch (10.0 for sticking it with all four paws) and edges toward the stairs. Unfortunately the back door was between she and I. And the outside called to her.
Ok. Fine. One last pit stop before bed. So I got myself ready for bed and headed for the door. No doggy nose pressed to the glass waiting for me. So I went outside. Not that anyone would have seen me anyway (as they were all sleeping already too), but I was glad for modest jammies. I wandered out to the deck. No doggy. Really? I wanted to go to bed. So I called (ever so softly, so as not to wake sleeping neighbors, or my own family). No response. Do I have the only dog in the world that requires you shine a flashlight on her and say "I see you!" before she'll come in the house? Possibly so. Off to the house to dig out my flashlight.
Yep. There were her eyes, glowing green. (A little creepy but better than red. Just sayin'.) "I see you!" Tonight the response was apathetic. She continued to wander the yard. Seriously? No squirrels, dear. They're all sleeping. The same as I would like to be. Please? But no. She had to wander the whole backyard sniffing, making sure that the family was safe for the evening. No rabid squirrels will attack us tonight. I'm so relieved.
Finally she wanders toward me as if to say, "Oh look. You're finally ready for bed." <Sigh> But I'm not complaining. I might make it to my bed before I fall asleep. So she and I head to the back door. And what do you think I find?
Resident schizoid cat with her wet little nose sniffing the 1/4 inch space I left between the door and the frame. Sadly, I didn't notice the nose until slightly too late and she made a bolt for the huge outdoors. Only my stupendous ninja skills (at 11:30 at night no less) kept her from achieving her desired goal.
Needless to say, she and I had a short, sweet conversation. No dice, chica. I'm ready for bed and I've just convinced the dog to go inside. I'm not chasing a feline.
You'd think that the dog would be ready for bed, right? But no. I made it to the top of the stairs and she looks at me like, "You want me to go where?" "All the way up those stairs?" Yeah. We do this every night. It's not usually this hard. I was beginning to worry that I was going to have to carry her up to bed. I don't even carry my children to bed anymore. I'm not carrying the dog.
She finally had pity on my and slunk up the stairs and into her crate.
I think I'm lucky I didn't trip down and break something in my somnolent state. Especially since the cat decided to take up residence on the top stair again.
Suddenly the paper cut didn't seem quite so painful anymore. Sleep felt good. And I didn't remember any of my traumatic evening until I came home from work tonight. There was something about the opening of that door...
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